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Thoughts from 2016

December 31, 2016

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2016 is coming to its end and I find myself in this magical place where old is about to being closed and new is in the air, about to emerge. After another intense, powerful, and transforming year my body asks for a break and I listen to it. This time I take more then just a few moments; I want to listen and to go deeper. This is not very easy, patience is still not my best friend, and it takes me a conscious effort to go there, over and over again. I listen to the stillness. I stay with whatever arises. I surrender and give up the control. This is new – control was always a good indicator for me that I am on the right side of life, being safe and doing well.

Surprisingly, this new experience of slowing down, being silent and focusing doesn’t feel weak, empty or shallow. Instead, it feels powerful, full of energies and knowing, it opens new ups and downs, new dreams and old fears, it makes me feeling vulnerable and in charge at the same time. All I need to do is to stay open and to receive. It opens a whole new world of who I am and what wants to emerge in my life.

I realize how distracted I usually go through life, focusing on thousands different things at the same time, trying to make it all, and I stay on the surface, not really being in control after all.

I also feel the deliberation of saying no to things in my life that do not serve me anymore, and there is still a room to grow. Cleaning up and simplifying make it easy …and also so scary. I listen to the voice in me that knows and that I finally dare to hear.

Could it be that the life is not so complicated after all? That we can choose what we need and go for it with all our passion, gifts and power? With this ease and clarity I feel so much more is possible. Make the impact I want to make, build relationships I want to live, dream the future and create it with people I want to co-create with.

One of the most important lessons of this year is that I’ve got to choose. It is not about reaching the next target, but about the deep human connection and what can grow out of it. And this leads to much bolder results I have ever imagined. Being in this moment, connected and creating from there is the most powerful and deliberating present I received this year. This knowledge is in my body, I don’t need to think about it anymore, and this is also new. I feel a deep gratitude to all of you who held the space for me during this turbulent, chaotic and truly transforming year. And I look forward to the next year, to the beauty of simplicity, presence and connection.

Happy New Year!

Asking for help

March 12, 2016

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I was asked to go outside and ask for help as a part of my Leadership Program I attend these days. Ask for help? This is easy. Something I’ve done thousands times, have thought a lot of and reflected on during last year. Asking for help helps. It helps on the subject itself and makes it easier, no need to do it all on my own! But it also has a side effect and helps to connect with those who help us, to open up and to become real for those around us. This is a place where others can plug in and be with us, where real and trustful connections can start and grow. This has been so far my experience and learning.

What surprised me the most when asking for help these days is my discovery that I do ask for help, but it is really hard for me to receive help. To say “Yes” to. To accept it. Ha! Here you go. Asking for help, but rejecting it when it arrives! This doesn’t sound very nice. And probably doesn’t really help to build a trustful relationship and to grow my leadership. I get curious about it. Why don’t I take it? Is there a fear that this probably will be done in a different way that I need? Is there a fear that to receive help I will need to open my heart and let people into my private space? Is there a fear of getting too close with people around me? My chest is getting numb; I feel a little queasy feeling in my stomach. The truth is that I am not comfortable being too close for too long time when asking for help. And it is not a pleasant truth. Not for me as a coach who works with other people and want to serve on their journey of leadership, awareness, connection and trust. And this is a powerful one. Because I fail For All I Learn. Once again. And thanks to all of you I am very lucky to know how beautiful and empowering the moment of raising is. When I feel the arms that catch and hold me. When I am able to recover. To stand up and give it another try. And another one. Because it is beautiful to fly. And it can be even more fun if we ask others to join and to help us with it. Surprising things can happen then. I will go and try!

Synergy story

April 9, 2016

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There was a girl. Her name was Anna. She was a nice, warm person. Having a nice family, great children, good friends, fabulous job, success and recognition. You know… international background, languages, traveling, living in different places, having choices, freedom and flexibility. Having “achieved” so fast so much. Of course, it was a result of a hard work. Work hard, play hard. Who cares? Success is really what matters. Succeeding it everything she does. And still. Something was missing. Something untouchable. She had a sense of it, but each time she wanted to touch it, it flew away. Like a magic fire bird from the book of her childhood, full of colors, full of magic, glowing, calling and promising and flying away.

Anna, being an efficient and structured person – well-trained consultant – decided to go after it and see what is there. By, of course, thinking of the next step in her professional growth. What else? She had a good friend who ran a successful coaching business after spending many years in the consulting world. Anna called her friend to ask for advice. What could be next? Her friend surprisingly didn’t give her an answer and also didn’t suggest doing some brainstorming or SWOT analysis or at least a market research, but instead offered her a coaching. Coaching??? Is that a thing for those who don’t know what to do with their life and ask for help? Nothing for Anna. Her friend insisted: Give it a try. What could happen? Anna didn’t really believe in those things, but she was a curious girl. So she decided to see what this thing was about. Six weeks later, on January 1st, Anna was signing up for Co-Active Coaching Program. Not really knowing why she decided to do it, but sensing that there could be something to explore. Something new. And different. Totally different and somehow not unknown. Something forgotten.

Four weeks later Anna started a course. She failed fabulously in a “sandbox” on a romantic topic, working hard trying to find a solution – the perfect woman – for the guy in the client chair. She got stuck. Failed. And failed again. She didn’t want to fail. She wanted to be successful and kind by helping others. So if it was not about finding a solution, well – let’s learn another technique.

She started to do some coaching, just playing with it. It was fun. Between Fulfillment and Balance courses there was some sparkling feeling, waiting of something big to happen. And then it happened. A big “Aha”. And then “Oh, no!” and then “NO-NO-NO”… “Really”? And then a freeze. One month of emptiness, loneliness, the decision to be radical true to self and people next to her. Not able to feel, confusion, then pain, then feeling nothing again. Something happened in her life. Something in her core was touched. Something wanted to get visible, to get out of cage. Was it a firebird? The door got opened. Not too much, just a little bit, but enough to see that something was there. Not possible to close it again.

Then the process. The decision to give it a try. Just for few days. Another place. Another people. Deep dive. Truth. Pain. Fail. Giving up. Still breathing. Still there. Is it not gone? Are there another perspectives to look from? Not really. But if you mean…

Another fishing got success just few weeks later. Another deep dive. Deeper than ever before. Deeper than ever possible. How much pain is there out in the world? How much love? Where do we belong to? How is it to be loved? What are you scared of? What are you longing for?

The awareness of self. The acceptance. Creation of space. The awareness of world, of its elements. Sensing them. Being a part of them. Realizing why is she here. What her role is. Learning how to be. How to be with. How to be strong and weak. How strong the weakness is. This is what makes her human. What makes her be loveable and trustful. What make her whole.

2020, January 1st. Many coaching sessions, trainings and courses later, Anna is still learning and failing, because it is beautiful to fail and to grow. It is what makes us alive. It is what brings people together. She shares her experience with her children (who are the masters of fail and growth anyway), with her loved ones. She is an international coach, teaching all kind of clients how to fail. How to to open up and to trust. How to be vulnerable and still strong, be ready to raise and to fly any moment. Do you see the firebird?

And there is one more secret I want to share with you. The reason why this story has a happy end are you. All of you in my life. And all of you who is not here at this moment. You gave me a permission to be myself, challenged me and told me the truth, championed and expanded me. You have me your trust and your love. Thank you from my whole heart. And …what is next for us?